insurance claims

some classics ;D

  • Collisions, calamities, and injuries. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
  • I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
  • I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
  • I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
  • As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
  • In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
  • I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof.
  • I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
  • The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.
  • I pulled in to the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.
  • The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.

and others

http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Insurance/Insurance.htm

The one I always liked was: “The tree jumped out in the middle of the road, so I hit it!”

yeah, right!

And this guy here:

I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.

Failed his entrance exam to the ‘Mile Low Club’ wouldn’t ya say?!

Whatta shmuck!!

hahahahahaha!!!