Subject says it. Have a jolly holliday you all!
Merry Christmas to you, too! Whiskat! ;D
Hey, how about posting a Christmas tune on your piano? Hummmm?
Merry Christmas Whiskat,
and Christ’s blessings to you and yours, and all you harpsters and your families!
I hope the Lord smiles upon you as he has me this year!
[i]On the day before Christmas break, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner’s son brought up a big, heavy box.
The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.
She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
“Is it wine?” she guessed.
“No,” the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked, “Champagne?”
“No,” said the little boy beaming…“It’s a puppy! Merry Christmas!!”
Special thanks to Ty-Man for that one; and back atcha Kat! ;D
I just knew you would post that one!!!
Well never one to disappoint, eh?! Hehehe!
But just surfing along, with the forum in mind…
Came across this one, hope it helps ya’ll to unwind…
[u][center]Politically Correct Santa[/center]
[i]'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”,
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!?
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises upon their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened.”
And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows:
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she had enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title be Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he’d ne’er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football…someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you’ve got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere…even you.
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…
“May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.”
This document is copyright © Harvey Ehrlich 1992.[/i]
Didn’t expect this one, now didja?! Mwuahahahaha!!
That was good, to-shea! ;D
Happy and peaceful Christmas to you all.
Hey! I would love too, but I’m on Christmas holiday so no piano for me until the 30Th of December.