Hi @charleslanobucklin, there are fellow sisters of the harp too; don’t forget about them or you’ll be in big trouble, yes siree, biiiiig trouble.
No one will think you are whining, you are describing where you’re at and expressing some frustration. We participate in the forum to help each other, to share our stories and hopefully improve over time. I think all of us learners struggle with bending, and I bet there will be other people who like to read comments on the forum but don’t post comments themselves who are right where you are at. They will be thinking “I’m glad I’m not the only one”
It is something you kinda have to work out for yourself, but the best analogy I have read is ‘drinking a thick milkshake through a straw’ I can’t remember now, which bend I got first, it may have been 1 draw. When I got that, I practiced holding it for as long as I could, and that helped me with the other bends. I still struggle with a few of them.
Oh dear… I meant no offense. I should rephrase my last comment. I meant “Brothers & SISTERS of the Harp!” Thank you for chiming in. Its lonely out here in I CANT BEND ISLAND. Glad to know it ain’t me who reads these comments and think *Gee how do these Dudes and Dudettes do it?" Welp, it’s onwards and upwards or downwards as far as bending goes 
I’m sure you haven’t offended anyone; I was just being humorous. Don’t feel lonely, you are far from the only one and you really don’t need to bend to play and enjoy the harmonica, but I do understand your desire to do so. I’ve been playing for more than two years now, and I’ve only just started to incorporate a bend here and there in actual songs; probably not very well. Mostly I’m only bending while sitting in front of my laptop, looking at the ‘bend it better’ tool. Just relax and enjoy playing, you’ll get there sooner or later.
Thank you Papa Curly! I appreciate your encouragement. I ain’t giving up but sometimes I’m avoiding practicing the harp because I’m not having much success in bending. But I’m hanging in there.
A couple of things to consider.
1 When you whistle drawing air in it is easy to go through the sweet spot or over cook the pressure differential.
2 Try bending a -4 very with less effort and draw the air in very easily. I was going through the sweet spot or bending through it. Seems like learning the 8-10 draw notes. Less and slow is best. You will feel your tongue moving back and what your are doing is bending down your pitch just like a harp bend. I feel the air “rushing” through the K spot. It is easy to move your tongue too far back, which is what I refer to as over cooking it. I also feel my lower lip move back a bit when drawing air in and trying to bend down the pitch of the whistle like a quail does.
We’ve all been there, done that…
Seems to me that virtually all bends have to do with one thing, a change in the airflow. While there are many ways to achieve this with varying degrees of success, I like pretending I am sucking a milk 
shake out of a straw. 
The thicker the malt, the lower 
you go 
yeah man. Also don’t discount the inner “shape” of your mouth (think of your respiratory system like a bagpipe) AND the speed of the internal change of air pressure inside (i.e. how quickly you approach a bend) - I find that the higher the note, the more “abruptly” you need to achieve the bend, if that makes sense