Hello @MikeyJay,
Due to my accident almost 40 years ago, I have constant severe chronic pain. I had to take high-dose morphine for 12 years, my head was like cotton wool, and I didn’t feel well overall.
Today I do a lot of mindfulness training along with lighter painkillers. I use some exercise and my harmonica! It helps me a lot!
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@Southside_Slim thanks so much for sharing your story with us, Larry! I am praying that you can indeed get the corrective surgery, and that it eases your pain, my friend. You’ve definitely got a right to sing the blues!
(Your story made me think of this song title, and I looked it up on YouTube and came across this amazing version. I’d never heard of Kirk Fletcher before, but believe me I will not forget him now!)
@MikeyJay you ain’t wrong my man! The direct correlation between intense suffering and beautiful redemptive art is undeniable.
@KeroroRinChou that’s so cool you’ve been through Oberlin. Do you live in Ohio? Sorry to hear about your hard times, but glad that the harmonica has given you an outlet to express it. 
@AstridHandbikebee63 Wow, 12 years!?! That’s a long time my friend. I’m so glad that you’re still alive, and that you’re able to survive with lighter drugs. I hadn’t realized the scope of your situation. Thanks so much for sharing.
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Yes, @Luke,
twelve years!
It builds up slowly and you only notice the relief from the pain and are grateful. Of course you notice the limitations when breathing. But you don’t notice that you have problems with concentration and that you are in a fog. Over the years, insomnia builds up and mental problems and more.
When better pain therapies that weren’t physically demanding finally became available, I had to go into withdrawal. It was slowly being dosed less. Everything was good during the day, but brutal from the evening and at night. Like a Yankee six months the gross and milder symptoms for years.
However, since I had to take it for serious medical problems, I had not developed any psychological dependence.
At the same time, there were many reports from American TV about the people who were downright addicted to opiates by careless doctors. Also how it was traded outside.
I found it so bad because I could put myself in these people! Pure social descent!
Today I have a pain pump. This is filled with synthetically produced South American slug venom. Yes, there is now too!
Why am I writing to you and you all this? As a warning not to be too flippant about pain management! Always ask about other options!
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i just watched it haha right on point and weird at the same time what a trip yestrdy morn i was setting up my rig to beggin tracking a song i woke up with in my head the words the melody and riffs all just came to mind when i woke up and is about exactly that and the fenty problem going on just outside my hotel and the seemingly impossibility of me getting what i need due to this epidemic. im in san fransisco at the hotel whitcomb waiting for my apartment been here for a year after spending a year sleeping on the sidewalk up on haight and ashbury watching over my friend Lisa aka Little Mama she was sick and scared and escaped the hotel the dep of health provided because she was scared to be here alone shed been raped and beaten before and was alone here so she chose to be out there where people she knew would be i was new in town and had been busking up there for a couple weeks and she asked if i would stay there with her.Frankly speaking she stunk like pee and poop and had a collection of dirty clothes and misc. crap and i really didnt want too but the voice in my head made me stay so for most of a year i did i quit busking mostley i was kind of ashamed to cept when id drink some courage long story short she got sicker and was at st marys and they diagnosed her with small cell lung cancer and i finally agreed to share a room with her so she would feel safe and not skip out again dragging my wheeled case with all my gear and clothes up and down those hills every morning and evening for a month while she did chemo and radiation so she wouldnt bail out really put a hurt on my body so when we got moved in here i too had to start seeing doctors but refused a few ambulance rides worried she would come looking she died last feb and i gave in and resulted in numerous week long hospital stays due to sever pancreatitis and collitas complications thats been plaguing me since right after my workt to injury all to say this haha this hotel is on market and 8th st every week someb ody dies in here four i think in just over a week last week outside on 8th st to mission street and down mission st every day and night are so many people planted and just using fenty and sadly dying every day it is nonstop it still tears me up inside i try to ignore them part of me still cares and part of me hates them and what their sickness is doing to effect my medical or medicinal needs all this in my mind and a song appears in my head so im settin my gear up and my left leg and arms and neck go crazy with pain and i cant walk all the sudden and im thinking im out of oxycodone and muscle relaxants as well as my gi meds and i find out my new doc did not represcribe any of them Again two weeks ago id been without for three weeks and all i can think is im not strong enough to go through all of this again and im about willing to use just about anything that will help me get up so i can get this song recorded before im in such bad shape that ill never be able to play or record again its so effed up because ive seen it coming and the doctors arent stupid they know whats happenning to me their aware of the insane leves of pain that comes with this but they care so little that they would continue to jack me around like they are makes it even more important to me to finish this song a pump out a hundred more like it i have a distrokid upload subscription paid up till feb or march im gonna start tearing these effers new assholes my new lifes mission
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glad to hear youve been able to achieve a way to overcome your pain, its remarkable in my eyes knowing what ive been going through with no resolution in sight for me Im at least glad Somebody out there is living up to their responsibilities in the so called medical proffession . I often deal with withdrawls which imo personally is a walk in the park and ive set myself to not allow my mind to accept anything or anyone to rule over me neither medicines/ drugs peoples opinions doctors or proffessionals industries phsycologists or anybody or anything else remotely related to my well being because first of all in order to have anything to say or to have any opinion of my health and well being one must first know me and i have only met one dr in all my life who ever even bothered to actually study my medical history and to try to get to know me as a person before they made their judgement of me and that Dr was immediately taken from me because she tried to help me because she set the wheels in motion to get me healing that I
need to continue my attempts at living my best life because i am not rich or affluent although my present condition is the price i paid busting my ass making some people very very well off me believing my loyalties and honesty and sweat and blood would one day have its own reward i was wrong no such thing exists except in the minds of those who have nothing else to hope for.I wish I could access the kind of help you have found because honestly i could care less if someone found that leaches attatched to each ass cheek every night bfore bed would heal my degenerative spine disease and somebody tangable ? told me its crazy but it works over opiates id be trying to get me some of that unfortunately im confined to what doesnt work and excuses why not to do what does work.may i ask how n where you found and aquired your treatment any links to the info available i would appreciate very very much
i
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@Luke I live in Ohio, I live in a town between Sandusky and Vermilion called Huron.
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@AstridHandbikebee63 God bless you my friend! Wow South American slug venom - who knew? So cool. It sounds like now that you’re through the worst of it you have a much better and more sustainable quality of life - and you’ve got your Train Groove to keep you moving down the tracks!
@Southside_Slim I used to live in the eucalyptus grove on Stanford campus and play music on University ave in Palo Alto, and then I went to Santa Cruz where I lived on the river bank and played music on the corner downtown. Yay area! (Of course that was 25 years ago - it was very different back then!)
@KeroroRinChou - SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Believe it or not, I used to live in Huron! Right across the street from Mitiwanga right on the lake, if you happen to know where that is? Are you doing lessons with Todd P via zoom or in person? Is he in the Huron area too?
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Online on ZOOM. He lives in North Carolina, more specifically the city of Charlotte. So he lives a good 500 miles away from me. @Luke
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@Luke, right, my Train Groove. 
I like that! Yes, I’ve calmed down! Never give up, always hope, keep looking and find out for yourself. Work yourself, too, not just rely on physical therapy appointments or whatever.
Patience and discipline over years and decades! Please search without Google… At some point the famous light comes at the end of the (train) tunnel.
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@Southside_Slim, your words make me very sad 
!
In the middle of the swamp, escaping alone is very difficult!
I don’t know about you and the country with the cost of treating degenerative spinal diseases. Electrodes are now placed at the appropriate height through the canal of the spine. With the minimal current of the electrodes, the pain is superimposed. Or, like me, with the pain pump in my abdomen and a thin catheter in the spinal canal. Here, the pain reliever and, if necessary, a muscle relaxant drug are put into the pump once a month and that’s it.
Only a small operation is necessary for the implantation. The advantage is that the whole body is not burdened with medication. Liver and kidneys stay clean and so does the brain!
I am not allowed to take any muscle-relaxing medication because of my comorbidity. But I often suffer from spasticity at night. On the other hand, fermented vegetables help many sufferers. Raw sauerkraut, pickles, or just the water from the pickles, half a cup! It is also healthy because it contains important substances. No, no kidding!
You can get these tips from me for free! My experiences after almost 40 years of a broken spine and a wheelchair due to a complete paraplegia. What you make of it or can implement is yours! Finally write your song and play it!
It is also important to structure the day firmly. Everything, sleep, eat, some fitness and try not to build up pressure and stress. Just say “no” too!
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Thank You for that Im gonna shove it in their faces ASAP thats an Awesome solution cept mine might be a little more involved the canals are becoming overburdeoned completely compressing my spinal cord at c4 and c5 and theres now stuff going on below at the intersection t1 or sumthing? so yeah i been having like seizures lately my spasmz have been pretty violent lately the pain in my hands arms legs and feet is increasing and today my left leg from b low my butt to my knee and my foot on fire with vicious stabiing pain at the bottoms of both my feet. there were a few f airly scary moments of temp paralasys oh i was so angry im on the 7th floor and theres a med clinic accross the hall and nobody would help none of staff would even email my pc to alert her that i desperately need my med refills well till the end of the day that is one of the nurses bruce said he would if i would call 911 for myself to getemergency pain mngmnt i didnt tho the way ill be treated is demeaning and im not anybody that will let people just do that to me without umm paying the price of admission that is so to speak lol i digress ill prolly call in a few hrs when it will be slow at bernal heights sutter health hospital they have actually treated me very well there but they are not on my health plan so its emergency admissions only for me there my pc is with sf health so its zuckerberg gen or ucsf for specialty stuff sutter would have prolly fixed me already hindsight right lol anyhoo thank you you are beautiful for caring and i wish you health and love and joy in your life
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@Southside_Slim, but that’s exactly what it’s designed for, as far as mid and low spine is concerned.
I also have pressure on the spinal cord in the neck area. Both arms/hands had sensory and motor deficits. scary! After using a 
for so long, it is inevitable. They wanted to operate on me again. I have decided against it. My previous seven surgeries have brought no improvement. The shoulders and tendons also suffer.
I do fine motor exercises at home. Cut vegetables finely, sew and open and repair harmonicas. No, no kidding! Mobile phone use and not reading while sitting. Only lying down with your upper body supported. Move even if it hurts! Often the tension in the muscles is the main pain and a 
circle.
A rowing machine for the apartment works without using your legs. All muscles are exercised carefully, so important! Treat yourself to a break, lie down briefly during the day. So my C2 - C5 complaints are significantly better!
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I totaly agree i try to be as active as i physically am able to be the staff here trip out on me ill be writhing and cursing in pain trying to get out of bed to use the restroom or any basic things folks do at home one minute and next they see me headed for the elevator to do a lap around the block and then im back upstairs and this will go on all hours of the night and day ill be in and out hollerin cursing to get up and go do it again i am fortunate that when all of this snowballed on me i was in better condition than a lot of young men in their twenties i just turned 50 then about 179 180 not bragging but i had allways been in very good theletic condition i broke my neck in 91 in an offroad wreck cartwheeled my modified landcruiser like a sprint car i was back to work as a service and repair mech at a rather busy haz wastens transportation and remediation company now call phillips services largest of its kind now i was in charge of all trailer and tractor dot 90 day inspections and services basicly all tires and brakes and oil
changes roughly 60 plus tractors and 120 or so trailers in about two months with my horse collar tire hammer and tire irons all day i raced bmx untill about 20 yrs old almost went pro then i got into mountain bikes averaging about 40 mi a day after a full day as second man on a hot tar roof crew on n off about 20 yrs ive allways been into very physical hate gyms tho i think their for sissies lol jk but point is i gotta be independant i loved having a wife and all for 8 yrs but thats over 2 other failed relationships about 8more yrs btwn them 16 or so yrs im 56 been on my own since about 15yrs ive been alone a very long time and done some time its engrained in me to stay ready and strong i do way more than med folks think i should i truly believe id be in a lot worse shape had i not been in such good condition at the onset much much worse and i pray that dont happen still PEACE
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@Southside_Slim, I agree with your medics. I did athletics as a kid and teenager. Individual disciplines and heptathlon. It helps physically, with discipline and patience.
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I ended up playing the harmonica because there were songs which I loved which ONLY sound good on the harmonica and my sister had a harmonica (which I ruined by accident because I was a kid) and I feel the pull to want to play a musical instrument. Eventually, I didn’t hate the shrill sound, and enjoyed how it feels to play the harmonica. It’s such a unique instrument. The 7 string zither will be my “spiritual instrument” for it’s voice seem to express my feelings the most accurate (and the only instrument out of the few I would love to play on an electronic device or not), but the Harmonica, itself is unique in it’s system which I enjoy. For all it’s sounds which I normally hate, I love it when it’s in some jazz, country and pop songs. Also Moon River sounds really good on it.
To summarise, it’s just plain fun to play the harmonica and some songs only sound good on it, or even better.
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Hi Astrid. I would like to add to that. With the correct dosing, there is no addiction in the presence of pain. It’s amazing how hard it can be to find a truely proficient doctor. I’ve been in pain since my mid twenties. As far as psychiatrists go, in my experience they have never done anything but harm with the cocktails they hand out. Although during acute PTSD episodes I will confess at times I did need protection. It took a long time to find my talented psychologist, but she was well worth the waiting for. Psychology is the way to go once you’ve been stabilised. Their not all great either though. One once suggested I had Stockholm syndrome because I ended up in a relationship with one of my nurses after being discharged from a psych unit. No, not great at job in my opinion 
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But don’t go towards the light until you are sure that it’s not just a train
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Hello @anon42706161,
there is no psychological dependence.
But in the brain these things form (forgot the name). That’s why you notice a physical withdrawal when you take the dose back. Until these things have broken down in the brain. However, since you have not developed a psychological dependency, there is no pressure to take new drugs. It’s different from heroin and all.
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Hey Luke. As far as the harp goes, I’m not sure how it changed my life. I only know that It saved it. My life would have been lost to my own hand by five years old if I didn’t have it to cry through. I’ve only realised after finding you that I bend notes. I thought those sounds were just made by me crying my eyes out through it. I do understand that they were. I don’t think there is an instrument that can express emotion like it.
I often fall asleep with a chromatic in my hand. It makes me feel more secure than hugging my firearms during my military days. I’ve only ever woken up once trying to pull the button off with my teeth 
I have sent you a.PM the second part is something I don’t want to say in public. Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble this time. Thread reminded me of it. I would appreciate if you find time to read it. You’re a beautiful human being dude. 
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I know you knew that, I was speaking loudly to you to be overheard
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