Hey @HvyMtlHarmonica420 Yeah, you lay it down to them brother 
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What can I say Bruce? I like the guy 
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Yeah, well said. I still consider him to be one of my best friends, even though we talk and see each other infrequently.
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Never thought I’d be welcomed to call someone Asshole. I know where you’re at as my family experience was similar.
Keep on harping my friend.
Robert
Great White north
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Hi, so true. I get those feelings of inferiority. too, especially since I’m not a working musician and admire the ones that have much more experience. Rather than let it get to me I just try to pay more attention to what those great harp players do, and tell them how much I like their playing. Yesterday I had the opportunity to play at a fundraiser music festival where there were quite a few “better” harp players. Rather than let myself be intimidated or feel inadequate, I was just happy to be able to jam on the chops I know, and secretly. revel in the fact I was the only female there playing a harp. it is comforting you shared your story of when the ego goes wonky. Thanks
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I do that too. Especially when I go for my mostly daily walks. I live rurally so I practice while serenading the neighbors’ horses. I even made up a little tune for them. They seem to like it. LOL
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I remember telling my friend, Todd Parrott, that I was jealous of him once. But not in a mean-spirited way, it was out of a mutual respect for him as not only for being this guy with a ton of skill on the instrument but one of my favorite harmonica players period. I said to him that I was jealous of him because he is such a well-respected figure in the online harmonica community meanwhile I was being bullied left and right by people that I didn’t know. Both for my musical choices and my disabilities. He told me that he doesn’t know, but he thinks he’s well-liked online because he isn’t active on the forums as much as I am, said that if he did then these people would’ve said something about him, and felt sympathy for me when I told him all the stuff I was bullied for in the past.
My favorite piece of advice from him was from a few weeks ago. I was telling him about some recent hate comments I was getting on my more recent videos about how I’m “out of tune” and intrusive, how my playing was like rubbing raw onions in somebody’s face, and somebody criticized me for playing the way Terry McMillan played on one song saying that I’m stepping over the vocals, that my 6 draw bends didn’t fit the song, and that I should sound like Little Walter if I were to play on top of the vocals. I asked him about what I should do about it and he said this: “I don’t think there’s anyway to win with people like that. They’re just being ugly if that’s what they’re saying…when somebody’s purpose is to be mean and rude, I doubt you could do anything that they won’t criticize…Don’t be discouraged - you are doing great and you will only improve.” I’m so lucky that Todd and I are friends. He is one of the sweetest, most humble souls on the planet. I treat him as if he’s my long lost older brother or my father figure and he treats me as if I’m his daughter. We have that mutual respect for each other that made our friendship last as long as it did
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Very interesting. I am lucky as I never pursed any musical instrument so playing Mary Had A little Lamb yesterday night was a big step up for me! Music is a form of medicine for me as I had a very stressful job, never been a good sleeper and at times just need something to relax before life in the big city got the best of me after spending 3 1/2 hours a day commuting to and from work. Music made t bearable and I usually wake up with my I pod still going. I love almost all kinds of music with little exception. I has been great therapy and made many long road trips and flights much better. I am thankful for those that dedicated their life to music.
To me a winner is someone that is not handed everything and many endeavor seems tough for them but grinds through it and winds up on top. I have had friends that like this but faded out when the real world hit them. I define a loser as someone that is handed everything but still manages to make little of life. That grinding is very good for a person I/M O as it builds character and self confidence. More than half of the ivy grads I worked with feel out of the work force as they thought so highly of themselves and that any employer is lucky to have them. had book smarts but no work ethic or a lick of common sense. Right when they positioned about the real world they shut their brain off to learning. College got me a job but did little to deal with the business world, very little.
Golf, baseball and pool can very easy to me but they never gave much back. Music does as it helps many people like me. You are a good example as you share your knowledge with people like me that know nothing about any aspect of music but try to learn for fun. I read your posts and they are all about helping the needy like me. Hateful people are not like this as they are all about themselves and sharing and help are not in their blood.
I do admire anyone that can do something well. I seem to be a person that really sucks at something or pretty good. I was a unique student in that I failed the eight grade with three A’s and three F’s. I planned to be an airline pilot and had no use for history, biology or old English. Just did not see the need for em. After a summer of pouring cement in south Texas I decided there were rules I could not change. Passed the next go round.
I was always a consumer in terms of music. Now that my kids are grown, educated and I retired just being able to sit down and try to play something that resembles music as fantastic and I have doubts about my ability to get the harp down daily. patience is NOT my virtue but persistence is.
I wasted thousands of hours learning to play billiards well, which my mom so correctly said was a misspent childhood. I was good enough to qualify and play in the U.S. AMATURE Championship but like playing a harmonica in front of a crowd for the first time let the nerves get me. Baseball, golf and football were fun and I enjoyed them while my body was younger but I am glad they happened not sad that they are gone forever. Only the friends I made were the only benefit.
I just do not see you as someone that really dislikes someone for their success. Could it be a bit of resentment toward someone that music came easier for as opposed to hate? Hate is a poisonous word and I try to keep it out of me but the human aspect makes it challenging, especially how covid 19 changed the world. I do very much dislike some people’s but its their ways not jealously. That is their problem.
I saw the picture of your family, where you live and your ability to do something for a living you enjoy. When you get to the point two thirds of your life is gone, what I saw in the picture will really put things in perspective as it did me. My children are far more smarter than I, better looking ( my wife’s genes ) and hard working. They are also laid back as I never touched them, very unlike my father as he was well just abusive. My legacy is breaking that cycle that was in his family for generations. Time out was given but no more.
When you reach the age, say 65, and look back on your life I would bet that having a family far out weighs anything like sports, playing music, etc. The things you accomplished along the way that really count but not as much as how things are when you reach your destiny. I would imagine there are a tremendous amount of successful musicians that eventually realize their music days are over and they made some bad decisions along the way. many seem to be gone at a very young age. I always told my kids its the decisions you make in your twenties and thirties that determine how the rest of your life will be.
I very seldom speak of a brother I had that was a fantastic guitar player. He opened for Peter Noon and others but had no ambition on always moving up to a higher level even though the talent was there. All the playing, drinking and drugs got him at age 52 as he took his life. One of the last things he said to me was how jealous he was about my family, which shocked me. Just never thought about it.
I will and hope to be gone in 25 years as life has far the most part been good to me. all I want now is a grand child and see Omaha beach. lost both parents in 2018 at age 95. They were married 70 years and it was time. I loved them too much to see them suffer as their memory was fading fast and their body very old.
Its not the journey but how you are when you get to your desired location and from what I can see you should be in good shape. You have a great site and are known and teach people all over the world. Quite an accomplishment!
Just my thought on your post. Ill close with two questions. How did your friend fair as the years passed? Did he equate your accomplishments?
I was able to talk with one of the ZZ Top group for several hours while putting a headliner in a car he bought for his girl friend. He said there were many musicians much better than he and its mostly being in the right place at the right time. Just got very lucky at the right time. I think he is right.
Keep Well
Scott
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I was both a music journalist from age 15 and an aspiring harmonica player from 16. The blues guys I interviewed and got assistance from were experienced pros. They were typically gracious and giving of their time. I was a young nobody who really liked and studied blues. So, as someone else on this thread stated, I wasn’t jealous, just in awe.
Sixty years into this I don’t think I’ve been jealous of any player. A number of guys I didn’t like or they didn’t like me. A lotta guys of whom I’m still in awe. A number of musicians I classify as competent (not good or great to listen to).
But I felt the same way in business and my personal relationships. Could be that I’m too Zen and I missed out on the wonderful angst and misery of being jealous. Maybe in my next life.
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